Did you know that our self-esteem is unstable? It can go from a thousand to zero in a few hours.

This is why focusing on something you cannot control is just a waste of time.

Trying to increase your self-esteem will not help you be more confident, nor to be more successful with women, at work, or in sports.

A psychologist says that “self-esteem does not exist”; she also wrote a book with that title.

Her name is Ilaria Bertolini; she is a well-known psychologist and psychotherapist in Italy. She says that self-esteem is just an invention.

She noticed in many patients that they were unable to identify their problems, nor the possible solutions.

“They blamed the problem on too much or too little self-confidence, or in other words, on an unchangeable characteristic.”

But for her, this is obviously false. Otherwise, she couldn’t have helped so many of her patients.

I am very passionate about personal growth. I am an almost millionaire Italian entrepreneur and I had to work a lot on myself; that’s why I want to talk to you about…

Five golden rules for becoming more confident:

1. FROM TODAY THERE IS ONLY ONE MANTRA; ACT, ALWAYS

When you don’t act, your confidence decreases.

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way:

– I’m not good enough – Others don’t consider me – I’m too … “negative thing” – I’m pig-ignorant – I’ll never, ever make it

There is only one way to overcome these negative thoughts.

Act! Act! Act!

“Whatever results you get, the mere fact of having acted will strengthen your confidence and you will feel ready to act again until you reach success.”

And consequently self-confidence.

In this regard, I want to give you some advice. Start doing things where you have more experience.

If you already have skills or have had relevant experiences in your life, the only thing you need to do is learn from your past and value what you have learned.

As you can see, I’m not telling you to focus on self-esteem with some catchy phrases. It would just be smoke and mirrors.

Now here is the second golden rule.

2. IN THE PAST THERE IS A WAY OUT

Have you ever felt invincible once in your life? Like Superman or Spiderman.

Otherwise, there are some things you do naturally and confidently. How to play soccer or prepare your best recipe.

At that moment, your mood and your emotions gave you the strength to achieve the desired result.

It doesn’t matter on what occasion it happened. What matters is that it happened.

So basically;

When you have to do something you feel discouraged, think back to that moment when you were at your full potential and take action.

Think about your successes and you will act in the best way.

I’ll give you an example that happened to a friend of mine. He is now a commercial agent who makes a lot of money in the marble industry.

You know the white marble used to build the most beautiful cathedrals in Italy, or the Leaning Tower of Pisa? Well, it is the same marble that is still mined in Tuscany today.

There is a lot of competition between the companies that sell it. This friend of mine initially had difficulty in closing contracts with important clients, or architects with large construction companies.

He was a little discouraged, but he never worked on self-esteem. He continued to act. At first he wasn’t successful, but he never gave up.

He was also an excellent mountain climber; a phenomenon.

He used this strategy:

Before going to talk to a new customer, he remembered how great it was to climb vertical walls with a rope.

“If I do that crazy stuff successfully I can do this other thing too.”

He was motivating himself in this way, and slowly he began to be successful at work.

Today he makes a lot of money and feels like a confident salesman.